Friday, October 13, 2006

Change is NOT good.Pity you only realise that afterwards...

I've proved my last post right by writing this after two months-I am the laziest creature on Earth.
But then, it's my blog, so I rule.
The other day i was looking at an old picture of myself at age 10 or so, and man, was I weird! Not ugly exactly, but well, disturbing.
I,the little loser
See what I mean?Glasses all over the place, the half-dead expression, the oversized sweater, all the signs of anyway what i was thinking was, you hear all these horror stories of the nerds (me for instance, back in 4rth grade) getting teased,fetching and carrying and so on, but I was surprisingly spared all that. i mean I had it all- the air of helplessness, the tiny size, and, man, the glasses. prime teasing target, wouldn't you say? but all i got was good natured ribbing about being stuart little,and stuff like that...

i wonder why-maybe i was so immersed in the giant tomes that i never noticed, or maybe kids aren't as cruel as they say, or whatever the reason, but i was actually happy back then. Not giving a damn what I looked like, hanging out in the library and the grounds alike, playing 'sister-sister' and 'chain-chain' and being doodh-bhaath all the time, reading meaning into kites that fell into our school compound as part of our "detective club" ( involving many spine chilling episodes about secret passages out of school and a drug smuggling ring that actually smuggled chalk, but that's for another post)....anyway, i had a helluva lot of real fun back then.
None of the bitching, the make-believe popularity, the who-has-more-friends-and-a-better-boyfriend(s) stuff that's so weirdly important for everyone(not excluding me) nowadays.

I don't look like that picture now, what with contacts and a posh haircut and the typical clothes and outer trappings, and neither do i look like a lost kitten but act as maddeningly brash as the brashest of the gals; (and I still have the same great friends who have changed,sure,but so have I.....) but sometimes i feel that i'm still really the little girl I was, with the sad look and the tentative smile......

nothing really changes, does it?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006