I need a Larissos.

Anyone who has an old house (and loves every inch of it) will know, dust and mess do not a home make. Which is why the dear old things have to be cleaned out from roof to ground floor every once in a while. (In our case, once every 50 years). And who is it that performs this expurgation? The daughters of the house, that’s who. In this case, one daughter, the others being responsible and working (yeah, right).
Me.

It’s lucky that I like cleaning. Especially when it’s deciding which books to keep and which to donate when the piles start reaching the ceiling. (I can spend hours in our attic-thakurghor, covered in ages-old dust, rooting for that one book I know I’d seen here a year ago.) But also cleaning in general. I love wiping a dirty glass pane with Colin and seeing it sparkle-it’s like modern alchemy. I feel so powerful. And I have also been known to stun my friends by saying, “Hey, want to come over? We’ll clean the old bookcases together!”

But this house is beyond me. I’ll tell you why. Picture an old, old townhouse in Bhowanipur, with paint that peels off no matter how many times you paint over- like an old woman who can’t be bothered to pull up her sari’s pallu when it keeps falling off. Inside, there are four floors and one attic with every inch of space crammed with old and new furniture-juxtaposed together terribly, hundreds of occasional and end tables we occasionally fall over, moth eaten carpets, rugs, cushions, madurs, once-ornamental vases and curios that have long given up trying to look young and pretty, hundreds of clocks that never go, one grandmother clock that ding-dongs whenever it feels like it, and one grandmother, bless her heart, who never throws anything away.

And books. Did I mention books? It’s accepted that old houses have old books, collected over the years. Our books, on the other hand, seem to have been collected since Gutenberg packed a printing press into his vacation gear. Every floor has them teeteringly balanced, on chairs, on the aforementioned occasional and end tables, on the TV, the DVD player, the computers, the almirahs, the beds of course, and on the seat of our exercise bike.(Which no one can use anymore because where do the books go?; so we’re all getting fatter and fatter.) We have Readers’ Digest Condensed books, four fat ones each year, from the 1950s. We have all the mandatory moth-attracting Encyclopaedias, the Historian’s History of the World, the Everyman’s Library, and so many political and spiritual books that Attila The Hun would be reformed if he read them all, leave alone Munnabhai. (Not that you would know it to look at them, they’re all coated with dust and look like rows of black ledgers.) Add to this my personal mountain of books, accumulated over the years, a lifetime’s worth of begging, whining, and coaxing.
And all this, who has to make into a magazine centerfold before New Years’, when the cousin’s Big Fat Bengali Wedding (Ashirbad, really) will happen? I do. And by magazine I mean ‘Good Housekeeping’, not ‘Ancient Ruins of India’.
And I swear, if I do it, on my matrimonial ad goes “Can do anything, including clean the Aegean Stables.”
Sucks to you, Hercules.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I'm not bored, but Priyanka tagged me, and I'm more conscientous about tags than I am about my very-near exams, so I think I'll do this tag. I like tags.

Rules:1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones ( "I can't get no satisfaction"-so no, it's not okay.)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Wooden Heart- Elvis Presley (Great.As if I wasn't single enough already.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Take My Breath Away- Berlin (What? Just guy, please. ew.)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
High-James Blunt (You're right Priyanka, this IS intuitive, HOW did my iPod know??)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
18 till i die – Bryan Adams (HAHA. I'll have to die before 11th August next year, then.)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
sajnaa aa bhi jaa-some metallic-voiced woman. (Oh My God. I didn't even know i had this on the iPod.But HOW apt. i'm getting creeped out now.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Salvation - Cranberries (More like damnation.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Sunshine–John Denver (Haha. They'll be pleased. Nice dutiful iPod their daughter's got.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Manic Monday-Bangles (Yep, especially every Sunday.)

WHAT IS 2+2?
Heaven Is A Place On Earth – Belinda Carslile (2+2 makes heaven a place on earth. If only it weren't Unplottable.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Witchy Woman– Eagles (I'm sure some unnamed people would agree.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
All You Need Is Love-Beatles (And not from just anyone, okay?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Walk Of Life -Dire Straits (I always did like Johnny.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Another Brick In The Wall-Pink Floyd (*thunderstruck*)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Your Heart Is An Empty Room–Death Cab or Cutie (And I'm looking for a place to rent.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Run Like Hell-Pink Floyd (What?? Is this an otherworld warning? What did I DO?)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Woh Shaam Kuch Ajeeb Thi– Lata (Yeh shaam bhi ajeeb hai? *apprehensive look*)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
In The Shadows– The Rasmus ("i'll be waiting/I'll be watching" ?This is getting seriously scary.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Knocking on Heaven's Door-Bob Dylan (And do they open for me? Not a chance in hell, they don't.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Fidelity–Regina Spektor (No, really. I don't even have anyone to betray.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Come Undone - Duran Duran (Haha. And so they do. Like a muffler I once knitted.)

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper.(Good that it's not Untitled by Simple Plan)

So there. My iPod seems to have more AI than Apple fitted it out with, which is slightly unnerving. I tag anyone who reads this and thinks my iPod isn't prescient and I cheated.
And I have a messy post coming up, so stay tuned. Tuned? haha. haha. (I like bad jokes, okay?) Goodnight.