Friday, August 10, 2007

Birthday Blues

I'm writing this with about an hour to go before my eighteenth birthday. I will not even start on how much that's freaking me out, what with reaching the end of childhood without having changed the world an iota, being a useless lump upon the careworn soulders of the proletariat and a chronic time waster and what not. What I will do, is whine about other things.
I was just looking over my first post, almost exactly two years ago, where I started out by saying,"I’m a sixteen year old girl from Kolkata" (which was totally untrue, because i wouldn't have been sixteen till another month, and that was NOT a good start-but then this blog is now loads of fun for me, so i guess 'making a good start' is just rubbish), and went on about Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, which had just released-I remember liking Snape even then. So one of the things that haven't changed is that I still love Harry's world, and have never felt the need to turn up my nose at it.

Detour- I should go full circle by talking about Deathly Hallows a bit, as this blog started out with Half Blood Prince. I think it was wonderful; any issues i might have had I forgave her because of Snape, and except the epilogue I think it was a great end to the series. I have a soft spot for Harry puttar, having grown up with him, almost to the day.I got the first harry potter as my eleventh birthday gift, when we were both eleven. And I'm just glad I got to see and love something people worldwide went crazy about, like the earlier generation had Star Wars and Floyd.

So then. Back to what has changed.
1.I think I'm older. Yes, I know I'm technically older, and no thanks for reminding me, but I also think that I've grown a bit more tactful and a tiny bit less juvenile. Of course that might be because my "Be nice to me, I'm this little kid with great big sappy eyes" act probably won't work anymore. I mean, who falls for that in an 18 year old.

2.I'm definitely prettier. I don't know how, but it happened, and you won't hear any complaints from me. (And to think I never really believed in the Ugly Duckling Story. I mean, swan babies -cygnets?-can't be ugly, surely?)

3. I'm more social. I can even do small talk. It's hard, but I manage. Maybe being transferred to a new section away from the friends I'd had forever did it, but I can carry on a conversation with a strange person for much longer than two seconds now. (On good days I might even manage a minute.) And I am NOT letting go of my friends EVER, not even if I'm in Potoldanga and they're in Botswana, because I've missed them like anything ever since I we were rudely separated by fate, masquerading as Ma'am Narula.(Don't give me hell about this guys, I'm not responsible for what I admit under the influence of birthday blues.)

4.I still eat like the Empress of Blandings. Nothing's changed there.And I still pay for my own food.Which brings me to the next thing:

5. I'm still single. And I'm eighteen, and while pure as the driven snow was nice till now, it's not going to be that way when I'm twenty; and i highly doubt i'll have found anyone by then. there is NO one even on the horizon.I am doomed to spinsterhood.

6.I've found out what i want to do. Being a physicist might not be that easy, but it's the only thing that gets me excited, and as any kind of excitement is sorely absent from my life, I will go for it. And if I get the Nobel, your comments to this might well have helped me, so be nice.

7. I've managed to stay away from both conformity and also nonconformity just for the sake of it.I mean, I like Death Cab and Tracy Chapman, but I also like Harry Potter, Enid Blyton, and a lot of catchy film songs. As Anne says, if you have a nice nose (and i do, especially as it's quite pimple-free at the moment), it's a shame to turn it up and spoil it.

So I see it's turning 12:00 on me as I was rambling on about noses for an hour, so i think i'm 18 in..let's see...five minutes more? I think I'll wish myself a Happy Birthday and hope I get through tomorrow all right.
there are 5 seconds's done. i'm 18.
I'm going to bed. good night.