Friday, August 10, 2007

Birthday Blues

I'm writing this with about an hour to go before my eighteenth birthday. I will not even start on how much that's freaking me out, what with reaching the end of childhood without having changed the world an iota, being a useless lump upon the careworn soulders of the proletariat and a chronic time waster and what not. What I will do, is whine about other things.
I was just looking over my first post, almost exactly two years ago, where I started out by saying,"I’m a sixteen year old girl from Kolkata" (which was totally untrue, because i wouldn't have been sixteen till another month, and that was NOT a good start-but then this blog is now loads of fun for me, so i guess 'making a good start' is just rubbish), and went on about Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, which had just released-I remember liking Snape even then. So one of the things that haven't changed is that I still love Harry's world, and have never felt the need to turn up my nose at it.

Detour- I should go full circle by talking about Deathly Hallows a bit, as this blog started out with Half Blood Prince. I think it was wonderful; any issues i might have had I forgave her because of Snape, and except the epilogue I think it was a great end to the series. I have a soft spot for Harry puttar, having grown up with him, almost to the day.I got the first harry potter as my eleventh birthday gift, when we were both eleven. And I'm just glad I got to see and love something people worldwide went crazy about, like the earlier generation had Star Wars and Floyd.

So then. Back to what has changed.
1.I think I'm older. Yes, I know I'm technically older, and no thanks for reminding me, but I also think that I've grown a bit more tactful and a tiny bit less juvenile. Of course that might be because my "Be nice to me, I'm this little kid with great big sappy eyes" act probably won't work anymore. I mean, who falls for that in an 18 year old.

2.I'm definitely prettier. I don't know how, but it happened, and you won't hear any complaints from me. (And to think I never really believed in the Ugly Duckling Story. I mean, swan babies -cygnets?-can't be ugly, surely?)

3. I'm more social. I can even do small talk. It's hard, but I manage. Maybe being transferred to a new section away from the friends I'd had forever did it, but I can carry on a conversation with a strange person for much longer than two seconds now. (On good days I might even manage a minute.) And I am NOT letting go of my friends EVER, not even if I'm in Potoldanga and they're in Botswana, because I've missed them like anything ever since I we were rudely separated by fate, masquerading as Ma'am Narula.(Don't give me hell about this guys, I'm not responsible for what I admit under the influence of birthday blues.)

4.I still eat like the Empress of Blandings. Nothing's changed there.And I still pay for my own food.Which brings me to the next thing:

5. I'm still single. And I'm eighteen, and while pure as the driven snow was nice till now, it's not going to be that way when I'm twenty; and i highly doubt i'll have found anyone by then. there is NO one even on the horizon.I am doomed to spinsterhood.

6.I've found out what i want to do. Being a physicist might not be that easy, but it's the only thing that gets me excited, and as any kind of excitement is sorely absent from my life, I will go for it. And if I get the Nobel, your comments to this might well have helped me, so be nice.

7. I've managed to stay away from both conformity and also nonconformity just for the sake of it.I mean, I like Death Cab and Tracy Chapman, but I also like Harry Potter, Enid Blyton, and a lot of catchy film songs. As Anne says, if you have a nice nose (and i do, especially as it's quite pimple-free at the moment), it's a shame to turn it up and spoil it.

So I see it's turning 12:00 on me as I was rambling on about noses for an hour, so i think i'm 18 in..let's see...five minutes more? I think I'll wish myself a Happy Birthday and hope I get through tomorrow all right.
there are 5 seconds's done. i'm 18.
I'm going to bed. good night.


Polar said...

The Empress of Blandings brings to mind images of an intimidating member of the porcine community gnawing at a piece of frothy soap while resting snugly in Uncle Fred's bathtub. Perhaps you meant to say you're a gourmand, instead?

Small talk isn't particularly cogent material, but I suppose it has its uses. {shrug}
I trust you do realize that you're not obliged to be not_single at any point of time- now, or in the future. (Refer)

As for being a physicist, Kudos! I hope, though, that the opinion has not been formed solely over a staple diet of popular science books, or the Feynman Lectures. (They don't list out the trips physicists take down blind alleys, and the frustration involved.)
Most Nobel laureates seem to have found the prize mildly amusing; food for thought, eh?

I'm not much of a reader, but that book/author list seems interesting.

Oh, and happy birthday. Hope you got through the day alright. (And that this disconcertingly long comment will be taken in stride.)

sukrit said...

Ok first things first: Happy Birthday!

2. I swear by god you talk like das! Its incredible how similar you guys are! god!

3. Doomed to spinsterhood? Raghu yeh kya ho raha hai! Pinky ne bhi kalti diya tereko.. ab anasua bhi tereko consider nahi kar rahi! saaley kuch kar! :P

4. I won't pass no comments on career stories. Something I've sworn to not do long time back

5. We bloggers should all meet up and have the "who eats the most" contest. We all claim 2 eat the most on this planet.. really need 2 check tht

6. "Be nice to me, I'm this little kid with great big sappy eyes"

oh maintain that yaa.. u'll find million dumbasses like me who fall for it and keep doing so everybloodyday vitually :S

7. ok am bored of typing so HAPPY BIRTHDAY again! yea i know, zillionth time am wishing you. sorry :P.. have fun! :)

Priyanka Kumar said...

right, just something i want to clarify. if i were a man/boy/guy/dude/any other member of the male species, and if i knew a self-confessed pretty eighteen-year-old nonconformist phycisist-in-the-making who liked death cab and harry potter AND could converse for two seconds and beyond, i'd go down on my knees and say "spank me, please."

now all you have to do is forward this comment to all the guys you know. or post it on a russian mail-order groom service. no sweat. at least that way they'll turn out hot and slavic.

Full stop. said...

I hope you had a wonderful day, in your head if not in any extraordinary events :) And Death Cab for Cutie? How very pleasantly surprising. "I'll sit and wonder/of every love that could've been/if I'd only thought of something charming to say."
But I'm sure you'll find and give much love, don't worry :)

heh? ok said...

those were the things that i thought at eighteen, except the physicist bit, and those are the things i still believe at twenty three, except the prettier bit (i stopped being a femme fatale at age eight). so with the additional weight of the extra five years, all i'll say is that you WILL enjoy all these things and you'll be surprised to know how much people depend on you being exactly who you are. does that make sense? also, i won't ever say that i know better coz i'm older. i hate people talking down to me. oh, and happy birthday.

Red said...

the only way to stay on that thin line between conformity and non-conformity is to just be yourself.. and that, at any age, is a big accomplishment.. happy birthday..

new age scheherazade said...

@polar: no, i meant the empress in entirety. you haven't seen me eat.
And i am obliged; i have not met ANYone and am firmly convinced i never will.And you know what, along with wowing you out, Feynman does subtly convey the hard work involved.Most people try to do that-Pauling and Pearl S Buck in her book Command the Morning come to mind.

@ sukrit: whatever happened to ABW? And people still fall for it, you're right. but people like my grandmother, whom i don't use it on, seeing as she's wow anyway. so spinsterhood it is.

@ priyanka: wow. i think I'll cut that out and frame it on my headboard.
on second thoughts, dad might not like the hot and slavic part.(it sounds so decadently sexy somehow)

@ . :I know, and Ilove those lines too. You're kindred, you are.Thank god for the conducive-to-finding-kindred-spirits Internet.

@heh: It makes perfect sense. I knew you'd say something like that. And it's a wow thought. Right now, they depend on me to stay out of the way when there are people around.

@Red: I get it. Now if only I knew what 'myself' was. sigh.

speedpost said...

how do you manage to be the Empress of Blandings and not put on weight? is there some magical formula i dont know of?
and physicist you have a friend in me... as in not as far as physics is concerned, but hoping to be a researcher and get published in Nature someday... if only!

Fishy! said...

Lol- I do so love your style of writing!

Anonymous said... 18 just means sooo much more trouble :S
happy bday.. ill mail u ur bday gift soon! :D:D

probe said...

someday you'll find a guy you'll be lucky to have. and he'll be lucky to have you. surely.
until then, don't relent.
Happy birthday!

new age scheherazade said...

@speedpost: nope. I think it's all the sleeping I do.

@fishy: thanks. it's probably copied out a thousand places, though.but then that's research.

@ raghu: go on..get me in trouble. mail me a gift, indeed!

@probe: wow. that sounds nice and prophetic.
i hope.

Rajarshi said...

happy 18th birthday! maybe 2 years hence you can write about how you've changed since you were 18. i personally find it hard to see how i've changed at all!

and it was nice meeting you that day. i always find it rather surprising to meet another blogger in real life. but it was a pleasant surprise!

Rajarshi said...

oh yeah...i like death cab for cutie too! :)

new age scheherazade said...

@ rajarshi: thought you did.
and i agree about the meeting bloggers thing. it's like they aren't real somehow. It's strange that they exist outside cyberspace.
...wait. they do? *freezes in shock*

Rajarshi said...

haha! while you thaw, i'm linking your blog to mine
(is it in the hope of attracting a few of your avid readers? well, you know what advertisers say: linking sells!!)

Clezevra said...

just hope i undergo some of those changes... another 3 yeas to go which is just so little.
completely agree about hp, and nice blog.

another brick in the wall said...

kindly update

raghu said...

UPDATE..gadhi ur gettin 20 odd comments without my ur famous bong chick now :P

raghu said...

UPDATE..gadhi ur gettin 20 odd comments without my ur famous bong chick now :P

new age scheherazade said...

@rajarshi: *deep blush* thankee kindly, dear sir.

@clezevra: you make me feel old at 18. but thanks!

@ abw: i will, i will. exams AGAIN. why, I ask, WHY.

@raghu: are you crazy? you contribute two each time, that's why :)
idiot. thank god you're back, though. i was starting to worry about the future of my comment box.

Musab said...

3. I'm more social. I can even do small talk. It's hard, but I manage.

4. I still eat like the Empress of Blandings. Nothing's changed there.And I still pay for my own food


I turned twenty four months ago,and count the above as my greatest ,err achievements.

Great post...

Revolver said...

This might sound needy, but there's a good reason to this- read my new post.

another brick in the wall said...

someday i'll see this blog updated! god! for how many things do i have to wait! i am a fuckin impatient person.. kindly stop making me wait ppl :P

Talking Tails said...

Ha! ...

Welcome to the world of the "Adult".. :)..

new age scheherazade said...

@musab:thanks! but you're a guy, i'm a girl. which is why in my case, it's just weird.

@revolver: I know. saw it.

@ abw: patience is actually a virtue. look at job.

@ tails: hmm. I'm still standing in the sidelines saying 'that's it?', really.

Divya said...

Nice.. very self perceptive.. When i turned 18, i had some such thoughts, my main one being I'm an adult now. Really? Wierd." Now tht im close to turning 20, its wierder. As all my friends reach 20, we all feel like we are turning into buddhis. Not being a teenager anymore and only being all that closer to graduating, getting jobs and having old relatives bug you to get married, its scary. I'm getting more and more apprehensive as my bday comes up. Yeah i kno I'm talking like I'm turning 30, but I'm sure u get it :) and yeah, happy belated bday :)

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