Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Our Cook Who Can't Cook

I've always been a real foodie.I can recognise spices in food.Food gets me worked up.The best way to keep me happy is to feed me. My nickname at home is 'andha kua' which, as you may have guessed, underlines my capability of stashing away the good stuff in enormous amounts.So when people ask you what irony is, you can tell them about this post.

Our cook is this nice woman from some picturesque village who should have learnt cooking,at leat how to boil an egg, while being dandled in her mother's lap. But, somehow, she missed out that vital part of a cook's education and is now, unfortunately for us, a cook who can't cook.

Take a simple example of something like toast. What she does is, burn one side and rub the butter on it so that the butter gets black flecks and the toast gets, well, no butter. Then again, her favourite spice happens to be turmeric. so the predominant colour on the table is..yes, it's yellow. yellow dal, yellow chicken, yellow vegetables, yellow everything. And then there was the deadly lunch box. Before I wised up and stopped taking food to school, my lunch box was a time bomb. The friends would watch with panic stricken eyes when the clock struck 12:00 and it was time to get the box out. Of course, no one could eat a bite, least of all me and so I invariably brought it back untouched.

So, painstakingly and with much trial and error, mostly error, I learnt to cook. And surprise...I could cook, and well. I learnt how to make the heavenly chingri macher malai curry and chicken in white sauce and fragrant pulao and even maggi(which is really hard to make well). ....God I'm hungry already.And all thanks to our cook who can't cook.
So really, when my people say it I get all cynical, but they're right-all's well that ends well.Sorry-I meant everything happens for the best. and so on and so forth.


This post was really an attempt to make me feel better. Maths exam was dismal(i thought it'd go great) but physics was great(I thought i'd flunk; such is the contrariness of life), so I thought a bit of philosophy mixed with some own-trumpet blowing (at least I blow it in tune) would do me good. And it did.
Think I'll go and get some french fries.shubu mashi's (the c. who can't c.) gone home for a holiday. Time to hide the turmeric.

9 comments:

heh? ok said...

heehee...living in a hostel makes me actually think of your mashi fondly, as a not so bad cook. and , the side effects were not too bad, you're a chef(almost) at seventeen! keep up the food loving :)

new age scheherazade said...

thanks..but i disagree about the cooking...hell shubu mashi's famous in the class! and she probably makes hostel food sound like the descriptions of food in Enid Blyton books.

raghu said...

i havnt read enid blyton wid interest so i dont noe..:S
neway.. the post was nice.. nice read really.. i think i liked it..
dont mind..but im spendin most of my day decidin if i like a substance or not..so vel dats all i do all day..observe..observe n more observe..:S

ya.. abou food..i spend 17 yesr of my life not caring about it.. nw all of a sudden..i started likin certain "tastes"..its fun.. decidin if like it or not.. makin a list n rmbrin evrythin i like
hahah.. all cos of dis female called "heh?ok" :S

raghu said...

done.. i read all ur posts xcept one.. hmnm..i think i like the way u write.

raghu said...

ohhh sheeeettsss.. i jus saw u ahva pretty archive also.. will read!

The New Age Superhero said...

funny funny funny! :)

i like 2 cook.. i make awesome omelettes and well.. everythng tht involves eggs.. umm.. jst eggs.. ntn more.. but yeah.. am good at tht! i am keen 2 cook but mommy dearest keeps me away from the kitchen as shez alwyz afraid tht i mite set it on fire :(

new age scheherazade said...

hey thanks..you haven't read enid blyton with interest? I read them when i was in diapers and whether it's heyer or lawrence dick francis or hemmingway or whatever phase i'm going through, i always come back to them on rainy days...i am a bit of a kid though.

and thanks again. nice comments make me feel amazing.(bad comments i delete)

new age scheherazade said...

@another brick in the wall

hey thanks:)
yeah, but people in my house know that i'd set myself on fire if i hadta have shubu mashi's grotesque creations each day(in artistic variations of yellow).

raghu said...

oye sukrit n i left some comments on ur peterpan post written in august 2006.. hope u dont mind :S